Things that Piss Me Off

The fact that it's completely inappropriate to show up for work in sweatpants.

That this cold/allergies are apparently NEVER going away. I'm so damn sick of itchy, watery eyes, dry skin, chapped lips, runny nose, that I can only breathe out of one nostril and this generally crappy feeling.

Getting up at 4:30 in the goddamn morning.

Waiting for my doctor to call me back and tell me if he's called in a prescription for Allegra so that I can finally get rid of the ichy, watery eyes, dry skin, chapped lips, runny nose, the nostril problem and generally crappy feeling.

Coming home to my apartment when I know that soon I'll be in a lovely new house. Hurry the fuck up already, I want to leave the ghetto!

Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Rod Stewart's freaky daughter who looks like a man.

My hair.

The fact that the first place I loose weight is my boobs. Why in the name of all that is holy can't it be my ass?!?!?!

Bell Peppers. Ewww.

People running around thinking that they can put any damn thing they want in a martini glass and this automatically makes it a martini. The only thing you are permitted to call a martini is gin or vodka, vermouth and a big freaking olive. Appletini, Saketini, Chocolatini...what the hell's next, Gummybeartinis?

Getting a wedding invitation in the mail that contains information on where people have registerd for gifts. No. Just No.

People who have no understanding of the concept of "personal space". Back the hell up already!!

That Colin Farrell & Dave Navarro have not admitted to the world how obsessed with me they are.

The creepy old man on the bus who keeps asking me if I have a personal relationship with Jesus.

Fruit running around in places that it does not belong. If you want fruit, eat the damn fruit and stop making things like pear and sour cherry compote to put on chicken.

That odd little "I See Dead People" kid. You just know he's hanging out in a bar with that kid from Jerry McGuire, drinking Gummybeartinis and wondering where it all went wrong.

Nick's Boss, or as I like to call her "The Evil Against Which All Other Evil is Measured".

The train wreck that is The Surreal Life. How the hell did I spend and entire day one weekend watching Janice Dickinson taking crazy to a whole new level?

Did I mention bell peppers?