Nightmare!!!

Well...now that the holidays are over and I actually have a spare second here and there, I promise more frequent updates. I would love to re-cap my holidays and do a post on my New Year's resolutions and all that crap, but that is all going to have to wait because something happened last night that is so freaking unbelievable that I have to write about it.

So here's the deal....last night was the rehearsal dinner for my friends wedding on Saturday. My brother-in-law was there because he's an usher and escorting someone's grandmother or something down the aisle. My brother-in-law (who we will refer to as Omlette) brought his new girlfriend (who we will refer to as the gap toothed hillbilly, or GTH for short).

Now..before we get any further into this story, keep in mind the fact that Omlette and GTH have only known each other for approximately 2 weeks and this is the first time Nick and I (or pretty much anyone else for that matter) have met her. Nick's parents have been out of the country since October, so they have never had the pleasure(?) of meeting GTH either.

So the rehearsal goes as smoothly as any wedding rehearsal ever does and we all go to dinner after. Nick and some of the other people in the wedding were going to go out for drinks after dinner and, since I am sick as a dog, I decided to go home. The next thing I know, it's 4:30 in the goddamn morning and I hear Nick on the phone with someone freaking out.

I wake up out of my Benedryl induced coma, and this is the conversation that followed:

Me: What in the name of all that is holy is going on?

Nick: My jackass brother is a moron!!

Me: We already knew that, why are you screaming about it at 4:30 in the morning?

Nick: He's not going to be at Brad and Jen's wedding, that asshole!

Me: WHAT?!?! He already has the tux! Jen's going to freak out and Brad's going to kill him! Why isn't he going to be there?

Nick: Because he's leaving for Vegas at 6:55 AM to get married!

Me: WHAT?!?!? Who's he marrying?

Nick: GTH!

Me: Is she pregnant?

Nick: I don't think so.

Me: Oooooohhh! You parents are going to LOVE this!

Nick (looking slightly pale at the thought): I should probably call them. What time is it in Dubai?

Me: Who the hell cares, just call them. I can't wait to hear what they have to say about this.

Nick goes to call his parents and they, of course, freaked out. Nick got on the phone with Rod, Omlette's best friend, to see if maybe Rod could talk some sense into him and, of course, Rod freaked out. Everyone calls Omlette and asks him what in the hell he's thinking and why the fuck he's marrying the GTH and Omlette tells everyone to fuck off and basically says that he wants nothing to do with any of us anymore since we can't accept this (only he didn't say it nearly as nicely as that). He then goes on to say that this is the first spontaneous thing he's ever done in his life and he's going to get married whether we like it or not.

First of all.....BULLSHIT! This is the same idiot who is constantly getting drunk, causing drama, spontaneously passing out in bars and causing all sorts of other spontaneous drunken drama.

Second of all...what 32 year old woman with a career and new town house decides to marry a 29 year old semi-alcoholic pizza delivery boy with no prospects for his future after knowing him for two weeks?

Third of all, what kind of 29 year old semi-alcoholic pizza delivery boy decides to leave his friend in the lurch the day before their wedding? Um...nevermind...forget I asked that.

Well, I should probably go and get some work done, but I'm sure I'll have another update this afternoon once we find out more of the story and see if they actually ended up getting married.