Fucking Hell

Okay, I'm sure I've already titled a post "Fucking Hell" but sometimes there is just no other word/phrase that sums up my day as well, so why don't we just call this "Fucking Hell pt. 2".

I should have know this day was going to go badly when I got to work early so that I could finish off some paperwork before heading out to that hell on earth known as the City of Houston permitting office. I flip on the computer and walk down the hall to get some coffee, grab the coffee pot (that I had noticed yesterday had a wee little crack in it) and the entire bottom of the coffee pot falls off dumping a full pot of very hot coffee all over me.

After cleaning up the mess and bitching for a good 5 minutes about what I am sure are third degree burns, I brew another pot of coffee, pour myself a very large cup and go back to my office, where I promptly spill the entire thing all over myself, my desk, my calendar and my rolodex while trying to answer my phone.

Fucking Hell.

While I'm trying to mop up all the coffee with the cheap ass paper towels that are about as absorbent as a fucking rock that our office manager ordered, my boss (hence forth to be known as the Soul Shattering Psycho or SSP for short) comes into my office and declares that she's sending the new Project Coordinator to the permitting office to pull the permits so that I can stay in the office.

Now...this may not sound like a big deal, but the permitting office in Houston is staffed by Nazi's who's only mission in life is to deny permits. Basically...you had better know your shit and be able to defend your position with these people. The new Project Coordinator (PC) who has worked here a total of 3 days was in no way prepared for this. Add to that the fact that these are really big jobs worth A LOT of money and pretty much everyone can understand why it was necessary for me to be there in person.

Everyone that is but the SSP who sent the goddamn PC to the permitting office. She was gone for 4 hours. She came back with no permits. I have to explain to my clients why their jobs are not going to go into production on time.

Fucking Hell.

About an hour after all of this, I get called into the SSP's office who proceeds to ask me "Is anything wrong"? I ask her why she thinks something is wrong and she gets this odd sympathetic look on her face and says "Well, you've lost a lot of weight really quickly and you've got really dark circles under your eyes and you seem really stressed out".

I point out the fact that I am really stressed out and that the reason I've lost weight so quickly is because I never have a chance to do normal things like grocery shop or eat lunch because I'm so damn busy at work and that the dark circles are a combination of the fact that I'm a raging insomniac and when I finally get to sleep, I wake right the fuck up because I'm dreaming about work.

The SSP then proceeded to ask me if I was sure I wasn't on drugs. I told her that were I on drugs, I'd be in a much better mood.

Fucking Hell.

About an hour later SSP comes into my office and starts digging though my inbox, my files and basically sending my office into disarray. I ask her what she's looking for and she screams at me "I'm looking for that file I asked you for over an hour ago!!!". That's all well and good except for the fact that she never asked me for any file. I point this out in the most diplomatic way possible and more screaming from the SSP results.

Fucking Hell.

I decide I'm going to go to lunch (something I rarely ever do), which is basically code for "I'm going to drive around while chain smoking and listening to music in the attempt to calm down before I kill someone because I'm really pissed off". I pull out of the parking lot and am gone for a total of 10 minutes before SSP is calling me on my cellphone telling (note that I said telling as opposed to asking) me to pick her up a chicken quesadilla from Taco Cabana and bring it back to the office as soon as possible because she's starving.

Seriously? Fucking Hell.

About 5 minutes after this I learn that something went haywire with my direct deposit and my paycheck wasn't in my account like it should be. I get the payroll assholes on the phone and they agree to wire the money into my account. No big deal...mistakes happen. I checked my account later and learned that my bank charges a $10 fee for receiving wire transfers, so basically the payroll assholes' screw up just cost me ten bucks.

Fucking Hell.

Okay...time to go home, so I'll finish this later tonight after I get a few drinks in me. Yeah...nothing good can come of this.