Monday, August 07, 2006


I broke my toe. No, seriously...I broke my toe this weekend. Basically, I walked into my couch and managed to break my toe. I know it's broken thanks to the large amounts of swelling and the horrible crunchy noise that the toe made on impact.

Here's the thing... I hate driving in my work shoes. The heels are too high and the tips are too pointy for me to drive well (at least that's the excuse I use to cover the fact that I really just drive like shit). At any rate...I grab my pointy, high heeled shoes and got in my car barefoot this morning like I do every weekday morning. My toe hurt like hell and was still swollen, but did I think of anything as pratical as hmmmm....maybe pratical shoes would be more comfortable? HELL NO!

So I get to work, grab my shoes, shove my verrry swollen foot into them and then try to recover from the mind searing pain that actually caused me to fall over in the parking garage all the while thinking "There's no way in hell I'm going to make it through the day with these shoes".

I hobble into my office and promptly remove the very cute shoes that have now become some sort of medieval torture device. Okay...this can work, I just won't wear shoes today.

15 minutes later the thought process changes to "Oh crap, I have to pee and there's no way in hell I'm going into a semi public restroom without my shoes on". So I jam my much abused foot into the pointy shoes from hell and rather than going to the restroom, I leave the office and go to Target and purchase the ugliest pair of flip-flops known to man.

Yes, that's my swollen foot in the ugliest shoes in the world. These things actually have little fake crystals and sequence glued to them. It looks like something some New Jersey housewife would wear along with leggings and a T-shirt painted to match the disgusting design on the shoes.

I'm embarrassed, but at least I'm in less pain. And...fucking hell...I REALLY need a pedicure. Then again, I didn't know I was going to be showing off my mutilated toe at work today.

Must leave work and self medicate with Pinot Noir.

I'm Back...(Insert Poltergeist Voice Here), yeah. Not dead yet.

Okay, I know that I've completely neglected all of you and that your lives are void of meaning without my musings, rambleings, and smart ass comments, but now that things have calmed down (somewhat) I'll start writing again and all will be right with the world.

Now the only thing to decide is where to begin? I guess the only thing to do is give you all a brief overview of what all has happened since March.

1. We bought and moved into the house...I promise...lots of pictures coming soon!
2. I got a fantastic job that I love, even though it can make me crazy sometimes. Oh...and I finally have a boss who I adore and who is nothing like she who is the essence of all that is evil ( evil whore...I hope you're attacked and eaten by a roving pack of wild boars).
3. I finally convinced Nick to get me a puppy. Max, the most perfect and adorable puppy in the world!

So, there you go...all up-to-date. More tomorrow (stop laughing, I'm being serious!)