Friday, February 24, 2006

More Fun With Lists

Well, since the random food lists were so much fun and not a whole lot of anything interesting has happened for me to write about, I figured I'd come up with a couple more random lists of stuff:

Favorite Songs:
London Calling - The Clash
Redemption Song - Bob Marley
Southbound 35 - Pat Green
Punk Rock Girl - The Dead Milkmen
Tangled up in Blue - Bob Dylan
Anything by The Ramones

Songs that Annoy Me:
I'm too Sexy - by that strange bald guy in the mesh shirt
Forever Young - Rod Stewart (the Alphaville song by this name rules, thou).
We Built this City - Starship
My Name is Luka - Suzanne Vega
Anything by Kenny Chesney or Toby Keith

Random Stuff I Love:
*The fact that my boss is out of the office for the rest of the day
*The new pink Razer (must have this!!!)
*Beagle puppies
*Clean, freshly ironed sheets
*The Colbert Report (too damn funny)
*The fact that I found out a former friend of mine who is now my arch-nemesis has gotten REALLY fat!!! (How's those karma burns, bitch?)
*Red wine
*The fact that I can wear jeans to work everyday
*Reckless Kelly playing a show on my birthday (can't freaking wait)
*Anthony Bourdain (sp?)

Random Stuff that Pisses Me Off
*The fact that I still have 3 1/2 hours before I can go home
*Fox News
*Jerry Falwell
*The smell of Parmesan cheese
*The fact that I looooove cheese but am allergic to dairy products
*Pink wine
*The person who put the wrong tile in the master bathroom in the new house
*Calling any drink served in a martini glass a martini. Martini's are gin/vodka, vermouth and a big damn olive and that's it.

Places I'd Rather Be Than In my Office Right Now:
The beach

Best Movies Ever:
Empire Records
all Monty Python movies
Sunset Boulevard

Movie I'm Most Looking Forward to Seeing:
The new remake of The Hills Have Eyes....please God let that freaky monkey man dude be in this version!!!!

The Funniest & Most Disturbing Thing I've Ever Seen in a Movie:
The Last House on The Left - the scene when the mother bit off sure how to put this delicately, but if you've seen the movie, you know what I'm talking about.

Things That Scare The Crap Out of Me:
a world without coffee and/or vodka
the strange noises that come from the guy who's office is next to mine.

Okay...enough fun with lists...I should probably get back to work.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006


I'm starving. No, seriously...I'm going to die if I don't eat soon. Too bad it's my day to play "relief receptionist" since the real one is out sick and someone has to answer these god forsaken phones. So...since all I can think about is food right now, I figure I'll make a couple of random food related lists rather than a proper entry today.

Foods I Could Eat Everyday:
french toast from Empire Cafe
baked potatoes
smoked gouda
grilled shrimp w/ lots of garlic and olive oil
Greek food. Lots and Lots of Greek food.
sausage and extra cheese pizza from Home Run Inn
grilled portobello mushrooms
any other kind of mushroom
raw carrots
grilled cheese sandwiches on rye bread
tomato basil soup
green onion

Foods I Really Hate:
cooked carrots
maple syrup
anything licorice flavored
white chocolate
cheese in a can
collard greens
swiss cheese
raw cauliflower

Food That Is So Bad It May Actually Be Evil
bell peppers
cream of wheat
alfredo sauce

Food I Am Unable To Cook Without
olive oil
flat leaf parsley

Okay...I have to scrounge up something to eat around here. I know this was a total bullshit entry, but whatever.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Fucking Valentine's Day Lovey Dovey Bullshit

I swear to you...I'm not dead, just busy. Gee...wonder how many entries I can start with some variation of that very sentence?

Nick and I have been together 11 years. Yes, we've only been married for 3 years, but I have commitment issues (if you know me, you're thinking to yourself "um..duh" right now). The thing is, we were never one of those revoltingly lovey dovey couples even when we first got together. Now, that's no reflection as to how I feel about my husband (because trust me, I adore him), it's just not my thing to be all demonstrative about my relationship.

Needless to say, I'm not a big fan of Valentine's Day. I'm even less of a fan of couples who are still reveling in the "newness" of their relationship, especially on Valentine's Day. I'm glad you're in a relationship and that everything is perfect and you're so damn in love you have to attempt to swallow your girlfriends face in public, but seriously...ENOUGH ALREADY!

I spent all Valentine's Day in my office, wearing all black and listening to Rob Zombie in the attempts to thwart the efforts of the well meaning, but clueless co-workers who popped in and out of my office all day saying stupid shit like "Are you ready for Valentine's Day?" or "What are you doing for Valentine's Day?". Hell, even the ones who just stopped by to wish me a "Happy Valentine's Day" were in danger of having a stapler flung at them.

First of all: Why the hell are you all wishing me a happy valentine's day? I'm not sleeping with you, I'm not planning on sleeping with you, nor am I going to buy you chocolate, so stop with the Valentine's Day greetings already.

Second of all: When the hell did Valentine's Day become something akin to Christmas? When the freaking clerk at Kinko's starts wishing you a Happy Valentine's Day something is very, very wrong. When the greeting card lane in the grocery store has cards that read "Happy Valentine's Day to the World's Best Step-Uncle" we have a problem.

I'll bet you $20 that within the next couple of years Valentine's Day will be a national holiday. The banks will be closed and we'll all get the day off of work to decorate our Valentine's Day Shrub (trees will still be reserved for Christmas), because this country has gotten completely out of control with the whole V-Day thing.

Third of all: If you're in a relationship...why do you need a designated day to show your adoration of the other party involved in said relationship? Shouldn't they know how you feel about them without you having to purchase a stuffed penguin holding a box of cheap, nasty chocolate? Seriously...does it take a $50 bouquet of half dead roses to solidify your relationship? What happens on February 15th? Do you go back to only acknowledging this person with "Hey bitch, get me a beer and a chicken pot pie"?

Okay...the very fact that I just wrote the sentence "Hey bitch, get me a beer and a chicken pot pie" leads me to believe that I'm just in too bitchy a mood to continue writing anything else today, so I'll shut up now and try to think of a less venom filled entry for tomorrow.

Maybe something will happen today to put me in a better mood. Perhaps Dick Cheney will shoot another 79 year old lawyer because that HAS to be the FUNNIEST shit I've heard in a very, very long time and has provided me with much amusement over the last couple of days.