Monday, December 19, 2005

Insanely Freaking Busy!

No, I'm not dead I've just been so damn busy I can't see straight. First I was sick as hell for two weeks and ended up in the hospital, then the holiday mayhem started.

First of all, I want to know what freaking genius started the torture that is the "Company Holiday Party" tradition. As if everyone does not have enough crap to do around this time of year we have to spend extra time socializing with people we see for a minimum of eight hours every freaking day?!?! What asshole thought this was a good idea?

Yes...I really want to see the wackjob salesperson who I can't stand because he's a damn chauvinist even more than I already have to. Just to make it even more fun, why don't we throw a bunch of margaritas into the mix to see what new heights of assholeness this jackass can reach.

Oh, chauvinist salesperson... I really hope you get hit by a busload of angry women on their way to a pro-choice rally. It would serve you right.

Second...if you, the person in charge of the Company Holiday Party don't want to make reservations somewhere or decide not to have the party catered, you should be forced to make all the damn food yourself.

No, I wasn't planning on coming into work and spending the entire damn morning wrapping jalapenos and bacon around 25 lbs of shrimp, nor was I planning on slicing a gazillion avocados and onions so that you could make guacamole. What the fuck were you thinking? Shrimp and avocados does not a team building activity make. This is Houston...there are a thousand Mexican restaurants in any given four block radius...pick one and make a goddamn reservation, you moron!!!

Third...oh, Company Holiday Party Planning Guru...don't call me at the last minute and volunteer my services as the party DJ. I have a gazillion CD's, none of which you are going to want to listen to. Most of them are a bunch of random songs that I stuck on a CD and there is no rhyme or reason to it, nor do I label the damn things. Therefore, I am in no way responsible when someone picks a random CD that has no label on it out of my stash, puts it into the CD player and the party comes to a grinding halt when The Lords of Acid start chanting "Darling, come here, fuck me up the...". I got to the CD player and turned it off as fast as I could but I'm sure some of the little kiddies (who were NOT supposed to be there in the first place) are going to be warped for life. Tough shit, not my problem and stop staring daggers at me during the production meeting.

Okay, enough ranting for now. I should probably get some actual work related crap done, even though it seems that everyone I need something from in order to do my job has taken this week off.

I'll try to be better with the updates, but I make no promises until after the damn holidays.

Monday, December 05, 2005

The Rage Part 1

First of all, let me just say that cooking a shitload of Mexican food for a whole bunch of people you don't know is not only expensive as hell, but a royal pain in the ass.

My friend's bridal shower was Saturday and I had agreed to cook all the food. No big deal, I'm a good cook and I wanted her to have a nice bridal shower, but sweet mother of God I will never do that for another person again. Less you think I'm overreacting here...Amy (who was co-hosting the shower with me) is in full agreement over never doing this for another living soul ever again.

I have serious doubts that my kitchen will ever look the same again and I fear that there will be dried, crusty, queso stuck to my microwave for the next 50 years at least. The salsa on my kitchen floor however, provides some much needed color to my floors, so I think I'll keep it there.

Sunday morning I'm still digging guacamole out from under my fingernails and Nick tells me that we need to go to the Galleria to exchange the sheets that almost got me shot. This does not make me happy because I avoid malls like the plague as soon as the holiday shopping madness starts and add to that the fact that I have major PMS's a pretty sure thing that THE RAGE is going to show up.

Nick sees that I'm in no mood to get out of bed, much less haul my ass out to The Galleria, so he bribes me by offering to take me to Empire Cafe for breakfast. There isn't much you can't get me to do if you take me to Empire first.

It's a gorgeous day so parking was scarce when we get to Empire (and I loathe driving around looking for a parking spot) so The Rage is starting to rear it's ugly head, but we find parking and get me some coffee just before I start to completely loose it. Crisis averted.

We eat our yummy eggs over foccia bread with pecan pesto and organic tomatoes and head to the Galleria. There are eleventy billion people already there. This does not make me happy as we have to go on The Great Parking Space Hunt again.

We finally find parking and go into Macy's (that hell spawn devil store) and Nick goes up to the counter to return the sheets. He very nicely explains that the salesperson gave us the wrong size and all we would like to do is make an exchange for the correct size. The stupid fucking bitch from hell at the counter looks at Nick and asked "Well..did you pay for these?"

EXCUSE THE FUCK OUT OF ME?!?!?!, we stole them and wanted to exchange them for the right size because we are stupid criminals who can't be bothered to shoplift the correct size sheets.

The department manager hears Nick say "Um..yes we paid for them and it's pretty damn insulting for you to ask me if we did when I have a receipt and the return sticker is on the package" and comes over to see what the problem is. Nick explains how the stupid girl accused him of theft and the manager said "Oh well, I'm sure she just didn't know any better". The Rage was building again and I said some not so very nice things to the manager.

We find the correct size sheets and Nick shows me the duvet cover he saw in the Macy's sale catalog that arrived in the mail. It was perfect, it was on MEGA sale and we really need a new duvet cover and a new bedroom set in general, so we decide we're going to buy the duvet cover, dust ruffle (although it's not ruffle-y at all so I'm not sure why they call it that), pillow shams and blanket. This sale was too good to pass up. We go to purchase said bedroom stuff and find out from the same incompetent-ass-manager that the sale doesn't actually start until this coming Friday and unless we want to pay an extra $250 I'm going to have to haul my happy ass back to The Galleria on Friday.

The Rage was getting worse, but I actually have to finish doing some work so I'll be back with Part 2 of this story a little later and will explain how I terrified my husband and bunch of old people in the Luby's parking lot.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

I'm Pissed Off!

Support World AIDS Day

Millions of orphaned children are left to care for themselves and grandparents are becoming parents again as a generation of mothers and fathers are lost to AIDS.

The United States government, knowing full well that condoms are 99% effective at preventing the spread of AIDS (when used correctly) still only provides funding for "abstinence only" education in our schools. By the same token The Catholic Church, while acknowledging the effectiveness of condoms, still condems their use as a "sin".

In 2003, President Bush announced that the US would commit to spending $15 billion over five years to combat AIDS in the "developing world" and yet millions of people are dying each year because they either cannot afford or do not have access to anti-retroviral drugs. Where the hell is that $15 billion dollars going?

We are approaching the 25th year of the AIDS epidemic in this country, and yet in America 14,000 people per year still die of this disease with another 40,000 being infected. Statistics that have not changed since 1998 according to the World Health Organization.

Over 40 million people world wide are currently infected. 3 million die each year (that's an average of 5.7 people, every minute of every day). Massive pandemics are breaking out in India, Africa and Russia, because people in these countries cannot afford treatment and there is no education.


Why the hell is it that I can watch Gilmore Girls on an Ipod while on the bus but we can't get drugs that are effect yet affordable to treat what is possibly the largest global health crisis in history?

I can't fathom how many billions of dollars has been earmarked by either private donations, political parties and governments to stop the spread of AIDS. Where the fuck is that money going? Why is no one being held accountable for that money not getting to where it needs to go to actually do somebody some good?

So, now I'll get off my soapbox, but do me a favor today, on World AIDS day...

Get Tested, Get Educated, Ask Questions and Demand Answers.